General Grief & Loss

We do not know the reason God allows evil and suffering to continue, or why it is so random, but now at least we know what the reason is not. It cannot be that he does not love us. It cannot be that he does not care.   He is so committed to our ultimate happiness that he was willing…

BECAUSE GOD WON’T ROB US OF FREE WILL The problem of suffering is usually posed as a question: ‘If God is all-powerful and all good, why does he allow evil to exist in the world?’ Perhaps the most common response is known as the ‘free will defense’. After all, where does most of the evil in this world come from?…

TIME Time alone and time with people they trust and who will listen when they need to talk. Grieving people need months and years of time to feel and understand the feelings that accompany loss. REST–RELAXATION–EXERCISE–NOURISHMENT–DIVERSION Grieving people need extra amounts of things they have always needed. Hot baths, afternoon naps, a trip, a “cause” to work for to help…

Throughout our lives the truths planted in our core are crowded out by lies told to us by people and circumstances, and we can often become confused about what really is the truth about life. We find this important when grieving because what we believe about ourselves has been rocked to the core and we need to know the truth…

In an effort to offer comfort, people often say hurtful things to grieving people. • Don’t be sad, they’re in a better place now • God doesn’t give you more than you can handle • You need to be strong like your sister, brother, or cousin • I guess this was just God’s will • At least you have other…

While an internet search of grief stages will reveal a variety of responses, these perspectives represent a very common set of conditions we find ourselves experiencing with loss. Remember these perspectives are not sequential and have no set time limits. You may find yourself experiencing several in a day, week, or a month. These perspectives are helpful as “handles” that…

The Tipping Point Most of us have had the experience of the playground teeter/totter in our youth. Two bodies on the ends of a long bar with a fulcrum in the middle and with equal participation from each person, a fun ride! It occurs to me that the image is a good one for moving forward in your grief journey.…

“I can’t turn my brain off! How do I get these painful thoughts to stop?” Traumatic and emotionally powerful images, memories and thoughts root themselves in our brain and by force of their emotional weight create well-worn neural pathways that our brain uses to remember and recall. A problem with these thoughts is they carry with them painful emotions that…

One of the best ways to maintain awareness of what you are experiencing is a targeted journaling exercise. Using the Cognitive Therapy Triangle of thoughts, feelings and behavior, stop 3 times a day to write about your experience. In your journal or notebook write the date at the top of the page, then write the time of day. It is…